Babblings From My Phone

Close your eyes, my love,
Count one to ten
Relax your mind, my love,
And enter a state of zen.

Let’sPlay doctor
I will heal you
Then fill you
My sweet nectar,
My serum

What is your dosage?
Three times a day
Overdose,
Get drunk off
This here rum.

***

Trust me to trust you. Love me to love you. But never trust love, me to you.

***

Truthfully, you tell me lies, showing my eyes what they want to hear, whispering things into my ear, to only see, true lies your tell me, fully.

***

Your insincerities sincerely spike my insecurities, seriously.

***

Consciously, yet unconditionally, you trust me, on one condition.

***

You deny your inconsistencies, constantly worrying my conscience. See?

***

In my feelings fills in my feeling of no control.

***

You got me drunk with no alcohol. Having me question, as I take in your whole being, asking to know what drug your scent is spiked with. These can’t be mere pheromones.

***

I could scrub my skin with sandpaper and perfumes, yet still your scent lingers. It catches me unawares as I continue on my daily routines. I get lost in the memories it drums up; You. Me. We.

***

I’m blinded by the vision of you, of we, that have yet to commence. Our essence of romance just dances circles around my head.

***

They say silence is golden,
Well you must be rich.
My itching, aching ears
Beg for the vibrating wavelengths
Birthed from your vocal cords.

***

Feel It?

The silence, the silence

Sigh.

Listen.

Do you feel it?

Doesn’t it wrap around your lungs?

Squeezing out the very essence of itself.

You want to scream just disrupt it

But it’s too overpowering.

The silence, the silence.

Sigh.

Listen.

Just Enough

The phone rings

My heart stops

I hear your voice

All sounds cease

Taking deep breaths

Not to let you know

With eagerness

I ran to the phone…

Walking by

Your scent stays

I close my eyes

All vanish

Taking deep breaths

Not to let it show

In weakness

My knees are shaking…

Brief contact

Skin to skin

Barely can stand

Hair on end

Taking deep breaths

Not to let you see

With happiness

My heart is racing…

Deep thinking

Future plans

What may become

Such beauty

Ceases all breath

Hope you don’t notice

With hopefulness

I maintain my stare…

So talk to me

And take my breath

Come around

And weaken my knees

Touch me

And stop my heart

Sit there

And launch my mind

…The rest is history

Poetic Mystery

You're full of mystery
It becomes part of the poetry
without it, you can still be poetic.

So.

End the mystery
like you've ended a cold, lonely night
with your hypnotic melodies
that graze my skin
Reveal yourself
like you've shown your heart
with your soulful, rhythmic flows
Each ink drop resembling a tear
Let me see you
like you've seen my true self
with all my hurt and mistrust
that you'd like to reset
Show your face
unlike that man roaming my dreams
with his mask and cape,
together we make our own poetry.

So.

Don't worry
once the mystery has ended
you'll still remain poetic.

Previously Foretold

Don't you know
I'm sitting around
like a bump on a log
Dragging my feet
waiting for your call
Mama called me
about a quarter to nine
Didn't answer the call;
Don’t wanna block my line.
I’m sitting here thinking
Bout how I’m gonna do
without you around
in my life
and how am I
gonna get by
I ain't got no days
Just lonely nights
You want the truth?
Well [boy] I’m not alright…
How does it feel to know
you’re everything I need?
The butterflies in my stomach
Could bring me to my knees
How does it feel to know
you’re everything I want?
I have a hard time saying this
so I’ll sing it in a song…
From the day that I saw you
I knew that we would pursue
Cause the chemistry we felt that day
Felt so real, and so true
The very first time that I saw
your brown eyes
Your lips said hello
and I said hi
I knew right then
you were the one
But I was caught up
In physical attraction
But to my satisfaction
Baby you were more
than just a face
From the very first time
that I touched you babe
Couldn’t find the words to say
you set me free
And every time that I kiss your lips
Nothin’ ever tasted quite like this
Or got so deep
Remember the first day
when I saw your face?
Remember the first day
when you smiled at me?
You stepped to me
and you said to me
“Sorry, didn't notice you there
But then again you didn't notice me.
So we'll remain passersby
Until the next time we speak.
I hope that I can make you mine
'Fore another man steals your heart.
And once your beauty is mine
I swear we will never be apart.”
Remember the first day
when you called my house?
Remember the first day
when you took me out?
We had butterflies
although we tried to hide it.
And we both had a beautiful night.
The way we held each other’s hand;
the way we talked;
the way we laughed.
It felt so good
to find true love.
I knew right then and there
you were the one.
As we round the corner
to [my] house
you turned to me and said,
"I’ll be going through
withdrawal of you
for this one night
we have spent
I hate to see you go
Even though I know
when you’re comin’ back
It’s hard to breathe
without you girl
And baby that’s a fact
I know sometimes you have to leave
But I wish you could stay
Every time you go away”
Why does tonight have to end?
Why don't we hit restart
and pause it at our favorite parts.
We’ll skip the goodbyes.
And as soon as I got home
I called my [friend] on the phone
I said “[Girl] you won’t believe
What just happened to me!
Let me tell you
why I love him
Cause he is the truth
Said he is so real
And I love the way that
he makes me feel
I know that he loves me
cause he told me so
I know that he loves me
cause his feelings show
when he stares at me
you know that he cares for me
you see how he is so deep in love.
Oh, love
Never knew what I was missing
But I knew
Once we started kissing
I found love.
I get so weak in the knees
I can hardly speak
I lose all control
What’s a girl to do?”
…
Looking back on a year we spent together
My happiest moments weren't complete
If you weren't by my side.
So here we are
We know what I came here for
So I won't ask for more
I wanna be with you
If only for one night
So, rendezvous.
Where to?
My place.
Say 2
and we can do
anything you wanna do.
Hey tonight is your night.
When you close your eyes,
take a minute,
take a moment,
realize.
Do you see me when you fantasize?
Tonight will be your night.
So come on
You know I just can’t take it
It’s seems like you’re ready.
Baby I can’t hold it much longer
It’s getting stronger and stronger
When I get that feelin’
I want sexual healing.
…
And now
The dawn is breaking;
A light shining through.
You're barely waking
And I'm tangled up in you.
I can honestly say
That I never, ever, ever
felt this way.
Your lips, your eyelashes, your skin,
These are the parts of your body
That cause my comatose to begin.
I try but I can't seem to get myself
to think of anything but you.
Your breath on my face
your warm, gentle kiss I taste,
I taste the truth.
I can’t believe
I’ve found a love so true and
I took my time to put
my trust in you.
I must admit it was
so hard to do.
And every minute that I
spend with you
You make me believe I
have nothing to lose and
Deep down I always knew
that you would be mine.
…
Some say love, it is a river
that drowns the tender reed.
Some say love, it is a razor
that leaves your soul to bleed.
Some say love, it is a hunger,
an endless aching need.
I say love, it is a flower,
and you its only seed.
Consider this song a testament
Of my devotion
to your saccharine scent
And to be completely honest
You're not like all the rest
Beginners love,
soon fades away
We go on....
Long as I live
you will be my first love.

(This LONG piece was a way of me toying with writing by piecing together my favorite parts of love songs. I like to reread it and try and remember which part came from which song. Go ahead and try.)

The Mirror

I blink and drips of my soul escapes me.
I tried to keep it inside but it fights me day and night.
Even now a battle has begun inside me.
Will I lose again?
Will everyone finally see?
Will I finally face the truth?
No
I must continue the war.
I must fight until there is no more left.
I can't let anyone know the torment that I hold within.
If they really knew
If they really knew
When I look at you with my fake eyes and empty smile
Do you see?
I'm winning.
Though my insides are mush, outwardly,
no one can tell the difference.
But when the night comes and I am alone
my soul comes out to taunt me.
To taunt me and hold up a mirror to itself.
Do I then face the truth?
No I break the fucking mirror.
If they really knew
If they really knew

Staring and Breathless

I entered the room.
I saw how your breath left.
I glanced your way
but only for a moment.
As I spoke to the person beside you,
you looked for any chance to speak.
I made it short and sweet.
Leaving you staring and breathless.
I entered the room.
You stopped everything.
Both eyes and mind on me.
Your lips say hi.
Your eyes show your soul.
I bet your heart fluttered.
I kept it short and sweet.
Leaving you staring and breathless.
I've now entered your dream.
I glance your way
but this time you take a chance.
Soon as you reach me, I disappear.
Swear you'll use your next opportunity?
Will you let me keep it short and sweet?
I pass you on the sidewalk.
You turn and stop me.
You keep it short and sweet.
Trying not to stare.
Maintaining steady breathing.

The Lockbox

Frantically, I run around my room
Picking up the pieces...
'FUCK! Not again!'
As streams of tears run down my face.
So I've gathered a few pieces
Minus the ones I gave
and the ones you stole.
Finding my old lockbox
I blow the dust from its top.
With a sigh
'It's that time again.'
I pop the lock.
Placing my pieces inside
I continue to cry.
With all my strength
And stone-faced
'Never again.'
And shut the box.
Turning the key until I hear a click.
One...more...tear.
I don't like where this is going.
Ensuring it to never leave the box,
I hide the key...
Even from myself...

Us Black Women Can Wait

We don’t want your Black ass
We don’t need you either.
We understand we’re independent, strong
And sometimes you need a breather.
But don’t act like it’s our fault
That your heart goes astray
Or that sometimes you need some milk
To go with the coffee and hone’
Not all of us act out,
Wanting to play silly games
But you make it so hard
When you do nothing to keep the flame
We have to play mama, lover, and friend
When you only wanna play lover
leaving us in the end.
You say to act like a woman,
Well damn it I am
And I’ma need for you to act
And truly be a man
Don’t holler at me in the streets,
I’m not a dog, I won’t come.
Don’t call me a B,
Just because I left you looking dumb
Don’t think that I am jealous
Of you and your new boo.
I don’t care that she’s not Black,
Just to her, please stay true.
So the next time you see us,
Walking down the street.
You can admire, please do look.
But think before you speak.
Because us Black women
are fine, intelligent and strong
And can wait forever
until the right one comes along.

(This was a response poem to Be a Black Woman)

Vices vs Woes

As I inhale this poison into my lungs
some part of me dares to take another puff
Filling my lungs I then exhale
hoping that my woes will leave with it
my imperfections will vanish into the air
I flick away the ashes
like I've disregarded all, those that hurt me
I take in the poison, this time, deeper
Burning lungs struggle to exhale
but I hold it in longer
I feel the poison reach my mind
My eye glazed over
Everything seems a little brighter
Nothing else in the world matters
as I slowly float away from my problems
I exhale and fall abruptly back to the earth
I wonder which will kill me first
my vices...
or my woes.

Dream World

And so we meet again
You and I
Going about our daily lives
As if nothing as transpired
Conversations continue
Keeping things friendly
And professional
But we've met before
You and I
Where all inhibitions have fled
That place where I make the rules
And so the scenarios play out
One second: we're in a crowd
It's busy and bright
Next blink: we're alone
Covered in the night's dark
A warm anxiety overwhelms me
I dare to touch you
For fear that I will wake up
Will I feel your skin
Or the softness of my pillow?
You make the first move
Calling every hair to attention
It feels so real,so wrong
So rightfully, I continue
With each touch, I'm drugged
The room spins
The once familiar surroundings
Now hazy and different
What once was a bedroom
Now turns into a little shop
Familiar are the aromas
Sweet, bitter, and strong
A mixture of us
and our location
Hands are entangled
Legs are locked
Intensifying sights and sounds
Finally I am jolted awake
By my own body
It has betrayed me
And yet I am smiling
And so we now meet
Outside of my Dream World
Do I dare?

Barbell

Sliding into the seat beside you
You turn the key
The engine revs
Sending the barbell in motion
Though the new car drives smoothly
I feel every bump
Every shake and turn
Sending my barbell in motion
Walking around is pleasant
Our arms brush
Goosebumps exposed
Sending my barbell into motion
Through the phone, a smooth voice
You sound sleepy
And yet sexy
Sending the barbell in motion
Going about my daily duties
Passing each other
Our eyes meet
Sending my barbell in motion
In anticipation for the next
Touch
Meeting
Gaze
Smell
I...set the barbell in motion

The Feast

I'm in a room full of wolves
Though they rip the flesh from my bones
I stand still, holding my ground
I will not be shaken
I will not give in
My faith is my truth
Their truth, their faith
Who will save me from this struggle
Each word I speak becomes a dagger against me
The blood frenzy subsides
I try to stand still, holding my ground
But I am shaking